Feels Like a Miscarriage

I'm so sorry to anyone who has ever had a miscarriage before. I can't even imagine the pain of hope lost in that, but now,I think I can relate. We had a referral (so this should be a good story, right?). Our agency called yesterday morning and told me about her, our little girl-- an actual little one who had been locked on our behalf from the shared list. Our SW sent the file over and we started to plan and dream and gather the documents that we needed to pursue her. I drove through nasty traffic to Seattle to have a doctor check out her records. I stayed up till midnight composing the perfect letter for our intention to adopt her. I sent everything over to our agency. Then this morning, my mom and I had plans to drive to the state's capitol in order to get our documents authenticated. We had a lovely time, chatting about the ins and outs of the adoption process and about how we would probably travel sometime around September. We came home, our task completed and I thought I would check email, just to see that confirmation from our SW that our documents had been sent. Instead, the email I read from her said something to the effect of, "I'm at a loss for how to tell you this. This morning when I checked on your file for ___, it was gone from our system." That's it. Child lost. The agency is not even sure how it happened. I am so unbelievably sad. I had no idea how quickly love could begin.