Merry 5th Day of Christmas!!

I know, it feels a little late, but really, it is only the 5th day of Christmas! So, my wishing you a Merry Christmas not off target. Here's hoping that your day was filled with family, laughter, peace and joy. Here's a summary of our Christmas eve and day!

I was finally able to convince Samuel to be a sheep in the Christmas pageant this year. He did a smashing job-- baaa. His preference would have been to play ANY instrument in the band to being a sheep, but on the last song, Joy to the World, he got his wish!! He took his jingle bells out of my purse (he came prepared) and headed straight up to the front. When the band members saw him with his bells, they invited him up with them and lowered the microphone so he could sing. THAT was a Christmas wish come true!! Bummer that I didn't have the camera with me at that moment...

My Grandma (known as GG to S, T and LJ) was able to join us for church and dinner on Christmas Eve. I always feel blessed to be in her soon-to-be 93 year old presence.

LilyJoy likes to get a free ride when she can! GG is always willing to accomodate.

Can you believe that I didn't get ONE picture of our family in our Christmas clothes?? This is the only full shot of LJ in her pretty dress. Easter will be a different story...

Auntie (my sister) and Samuel being silly in their fancy hats.

Dad and Grandma.

There is no more common sight at my parent's house than the one where Bana (my mom) is reading to S and T. I think she read 10 books that night.

New Christmas jammies!!

LilyJoy's jammies have a fancy skirt that goes with it-- LOVE it!!!

Very exited about their Why-flyers from their stockings! This picture cracks me up, though, because of my telltale yawn :)

The guitar from Santa was a very big hit.

This Buzzlightyear wing pack was actually Timothy's Santa present, but he's not big on pictures right now-- Samuel jumps right in!

Good morning, little Dragon Princess! Santa came!

LJ enjoying all her Christmas gifts at once :)

Headed up the path to Bana and Papa's house, of course with Baobei in her stroller!

Steve and Dad have a disgusting tradition of smoking a pipe for about 30 seconds on Christmas Day. Unfortunately, this year was no different.

My sister, Dad and myself with Beano, Timmers and Little Joy.

Things got a little crazy toward the end of the morning after Cardamom bread, scrambled eggs and porkies to delight our bellies. Pictured here is the wrapping paper diving that ensued.

We all had a lovely time!

Finally, Some Movement!

If you're at all keeping track of the immunization issue that I have bookmarked at the top of my blog, you would have noticed that there is at least some movement going on! December 17th is the "date of consideration." I'm not entirely sure what that means, except that at least someone in the judiciary committee is looking at the issue. Here's hoping that they sign this into law quickly and you all who are traveling soon will get some relief from the stress of all those shots for your little ones!

In Memory of the Four

This is going to be a difficult week for the law enforcement community and their families. It is times like this that I wish I weren't counted in that, but the fact is, I am. Seattle and western Washington in particular will be grieving hard because last week we lost 4 brave souls all in one scary, horrific and awful moment. And all of this follows very closely on the heels of a Seattle officer who was killed in the line of duty only a few weeks ago. The memorial for these fallen officers is on Tuesday. I may not have even mentioned it here, except that some wonderful friends we met in China who live alllllllll the way over in New York took the time to email us and express their condolences and concerns upon hearing the news. I was actually quite shocked that the news had made it that far until DH explained to me why it was such big news. These four officers were caught off guard. They were in a coffee shop, enjoying a break, working on paperwork, talking about their Christmas shopping? Who knows. But that is where they were assaulted and killed, like it was just another thing on a to-do list. He was wanted and had served LOTS of time in other states. This is not justice.

I don't know a lot about the situation, mostly for self-preservation. But I do know that every time I hear a Christmas song, I think about those families who lost a member, a sister, a brother, a daughter, a son. I know one had a wife and kids, don't know about the others. I think about that Seattle officer who ended up killing the assaulter. His life will never be the same. None of their lives will.

I'm having difficulty processing this one. I feel so deeply with that wife, possibly wives. I can't imagine how she is doing it, coping. Maybe she is not. I just pray that she has Hope. Please keep these good folks in your prayers this week.

Raise 7 for Matthew

I can't believe I haven't posted about this yet, but I guess better late than never. Back in September, my cousin (technically 2nd cousin) was playing football at a high school football game in Cowiche, WA and was tackled during a play. He did get up, but only moments later he began complaining of numbness and headache. He was rushed to the hospital where they did emergency surgery to relieve the building pressure on his brain, caused by a severe concussion. This was all a very scary time for my family. A few weeks later, though, he made it out of the ICU and headed over the mountains to Children's Hospital and Regional Medical Center in Seattle for rehab. He is still there and recovery is slow. He has had setbacks with infection and pain and rehab is only yet beginning again after a long break.

So, why am I telling you about this? Well, in order to raise awareness of love, support, prayers and financial resources, his team and many others are trying to start a national trend. They want everyone who knows about it to simply raise up their hands in the number 7-- Matthew's jersey number-- every time "your team" scores or does something inspiring! That's it! A pretty easy way to show support to a kid who deserves it. You can also become a fan on facebook by searching "Raise 7 for Matthew" or visit the blog Raise 7 for Matthew. The pictures are pretty inspiring.

One more little note I should add. LilyJoy had an appointment at Children's in October, so my mom and I decided to go visit Matthew and his mom. As you can imagine, his mom seemed pretty worn out. However, she has been at his side for the majority of his time in the hospital (his dad has too, but has to go home during the week to keep up his work-- he's an apple farmer and also works in the business realm of the apple industry). Any prayers you can offer on her behalf would, I'm sure, be a blessing to a weary soul.

I Just Called To Say...I Love You

Today is my dad's birthday, so this post is for him.

Last week, I had to run to my parent's house for a quick little errand. My mom and dad live only a mere handful of blocks from us-- part of the reason we moved to our house 2 years ago. I love that we live close, we've become good friends and neighbors (it's so convenient to have someone you can call up and ask to borrow a cup of this or a scoop of that!). So, it wasn't really an unusual thing that I ran to their house last week.

So, I went to their house, did my little task and my dad came and checked on me, then went back to what he was doing. I went to see him and say good bye when I realized what he was up to!

My dad has very vast taste in music from Beethoven, Mozart, Debussy and Pachelbel to Yonni and Enya to The Jackson 5 and The Bee Gees to techno dance mixes. I have great memories of his music from when I was little where we would be sitting downstairs after dinner in a well-lit room listening to record after record of dad's most favorite tunes (which in turn have become some of our favorites!). My sister and I loved "The Tide is High" by Blondie so much, in fact, that in high school, whenever we were hard at work on a big paper and needing a new source of inspiration late at night, we would turn on that record and dance around the room.

Well, it just happened to be that I came to their house on just such a night as I remembered so long ago. Dad had his little box full of 45's and he was playing all the greats! Among my favorites were "Queen of Hearts" by Juice Newton, "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes, "Everywhere" by Fleetwood Mac and the best of all, "I Just Called To Say I Love You" by Stevie Wonder. These are the songs of my childhood and the songs that make me so nostalgic to be back at home.

So, Dad, even though it's your birthday today, I take that night last week as a huge gift and blessing in my own life. Thanks, I needed that.

H*A*P*P*Y*B*I*R*T*H*D*A*Y, Dad!!! I love you!

Bana's Baby Shower

**First of all, to those of you who don't know what or rather who a "Bana" is, that would be grandma to a little boy who learned to speak way too early for his own good! My mom (Bana) has said before that if Samuel had not learned to speak as early as he did (started at 9 months), she probably wouldn't be a Bana :) Anyway, since Samuel was first, the name has stuck and so be it. **

My mom has some really wonderful friends from when she was teaching. Most of them are also retired now (though, I don't know when we will actually be able to say that my mom is officially "retired." She still subs on a rare occasion) and a small group of them get together regularly for coffee. Well, a few weeks ago (I'm a little late in posting this), my mom showed up for coffee like it was any other coffee day. What she didn't know was that her loving friends had thrown her a surprise shower for her new granddaughter! Here are the fun things she/we received:







Thank you to everyone who was so generous!! LilyJoy will look smashing in all of her new duds just as soon as she fits into them :)

Headed in the Right Direction

Last night, we had the sweetest little moment that has yet transpired between Timothy and LJ. Timothy has seen me prepare a bottle for LJ once an evening ever since LJ came home. So, for the first time, Tim Tim got it into his little head that he was going to feed LJ. Now, I know how much she LOVES her bottle and how the only thing that she allows me to do anymore is rock her while she holds the bottle. If I attempt to hold it, she gently, but insistently pushes my hand away. So, as you can imagine, I did not think Timothy holding the bottle would go over so well. But, he was being so sweet and calm (a rarity in the evenings), that I figured, what the heck. So, while I laid her on my lap and rocked her, Timothy reached over and put his hand on her bottle. Granted, LJ had her hands both on it as well, but she actually allowed him to "help." And T was perfect. He kept saying all these loving little things to her, stroking her forehead. Then he looked up at me and said, "Mama, we're not going to bring LilyJoy back to China. She'll be with us forever..." It was almost like Timothy was resolved to the fact that this is a permanent thing and he is willing to accept it, while LJ was telling T that he's not so bad-- he is welcome to be her big brother.

I love these babies. Just trying to savor these kinds of rare moments when they happen.

What Do You Get When You Have...

A knight, a pirate and a chicken?? Loads of Johnson Halloween fun!





They all took their roles VERY seriously...

Have You Heard This??

This is a new song by Steven Curtis Chapman. You may recall that Steven and his family lost its youngest member (adopted from China) in May 2008 in a tragic accident. This is the song that came from the tragedy. Get some tissues.

She's IN! I'm OUT!

I have something to celebrate here that I have been keeping quiet for fear that things might change. LJ has decided her crib is not such a bad place after all! Admittedly, this was not necessarily the plan for us-- we are very much a "do whatever works so that everyone gets the maximum amount of sleep possible" kind of family, rather than the "this kid will sleep here and we will 'train' her to like it" kind of family. I think I mentioned before that we figured out LJ's preference was to sleep on the floor. It was getting a little old bringing out my air mattress, setting it up with blankets folded from the previous morning, then setting out the old crib bumper and tying it to various objects in the room. Not only that, but LJ's room is tiny and all that took up pretty much all leftover floor space, so it was a pain to move about. BUT, in this experience, the Lord has FINALLY taught me an amazing lesson of patience. Specifically, when I came home from China, things were H-A-R-D. I know they are hard for anyone adopting, but we really struggled. I found myself almost constantly asking, "I wonder what things will be like in a year from now..." At that point, how was I to even know that things would be any different in a year? Who was I to inquire about the future before it happened? God started saying to me, "Courtney, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!" So, I listened. I actually LISTENED!! And I cannot tell you the weight that was lifted from my shoulders. It was such a burden to be straining my eyes toward the future. And I was able to say, "okay, I can sleep in here for one more night..." "Okay, so one more night isn't going to kill me..." until the right time came.

So, the first step was sleeping in the crib. The next step, which I tried one time about a week ago, was to get myself back into my own bed. That first night didn't go so well. At about 2am, the moon was shining enough into LJ's room that she could look around a see that I wasn't there. She lost it, I came running and spent the rest of the night holding her hand (luckily, I had already set up the air mattress in case of this scenario). All I said was, "it just isn't time yet." And we all slept fine. For the past three nights, though, I DID IT!! I have slept in my own lovely, warm bed--the first three nights there since the week after we arrived home in China at the end of August! Now, these nights have not been without their interruptions, but nothing like that first try a week ago. If she cries, I can go in and either hold her hand or pick her up and rock her slowly for about 5 minutes and then lay her back down again for more lovely, precious sleep. I think this little girl is beginning to trust us! Could it be...?

I FOUND IT!

Yes, folks, that's right. If you're sitting out there in blogland just waiting for your Hague adoption to be complete, fear not!! I found the ONE positive thing about the Hague today. Are you ready? I spent less than 30 minutes in the Social Security office today applying to LJ's soc sec number! Okay, so it's not all that exciting, but I sure as heck thought it was cool. The officer who helped me out said she had done tons of adoptions completed domestically and internationally, but none ever under the Hague. She couldn't believe how easy it was to find LJ's immigration stuff (their system was automatically linked to USCIS) and prove that she was a citizen. I was fully expecting her to look at my documentation and say, "huh, yeah right, come back tomorrow when you have everything you need." Nothing-- she said not a WORD of such disgust.

So, there you have it. The one positive thing about the Hague. Sorry that it happens to come after all the excitement of the adoption itself. Figures.

Updates and Doctor Reports

It has come to my attention that I have done a very poor job of updating folks on how LilyJoy is actually doing. Most things are so much better than when we got home, that while they are still not "normal," they have become our "normal." Sleep has really been a non-issue since we figured out that little LJ just wanted to sleep on the floor. Now, we have a routine where I set out a crib bumper along various items of furniture to contain the sleeping baby while I sleep on an air mattress right next to her. Often, early in the morning she will need a reminder that I am still there and will basically crawl on top of the air mattress and all over me (much like a cat) until she finds a nice pleasant spot to settle back in again. Sometimes during that little awakening, she cries, sometimes not. All in all, we are getting sleep and that is really what matters to me. Naps are a different story, not quite as easy. She does usually sleep for about an hour at naptime, though, so I get a *little* break :)

A few weeks ago we also visited the Pediatrician and the Ophthalmologist. The ped had nothing but good stuff to report (aside from the report that we will probably have to start over with her immunizations... grrrrrrr.). At this point, she didn't see developmentally that LJ will need the Birth to Three services (the state's early intervention program) and she seems to be right on target. I think I will still call, though, and have her evaluated, given what I found out at her next appointment. She is tiny-- but on the chart!! I think she said about the 3rd %ile for both height and weight. Looking at her pictures from China to now, though, as DH would say, "SHE'S A CHUNK!" She no longer fits in her qipao dress that we had made for her, thanks to that little potbelly she now sports. So, in summary, she is doing great.

Her ophthalmology appointment was a little different story. While we didn't find out anything earth shattering (and really, it was exactly as I had predicted all along), it was a wee bit disappointing. When her ped looked at her left eye, she said, "oh my! she has a strange eye... I can't find her pupil!" Hmmm, not exactly what you want to hear! Well, the ophthalmologist laughed when I told him that and said, "I'm not surprised she couldn't find it. It is very abnormal." So, there is no cataract (as I suspected), but just a very large, irregularly shaped pupil caused by, well, who knows? He said she could have been born with it that way or it could have been some kind of trauma (heaven forbid), but she also has some kind of cyst next to it, nothing he was concerned about. The long and the short of it, she has very poor vision in that eye (if any) and it will always be that way, there is nothing they can do to fix it. As for the strabismus (lazy eye) in that same eye, they can do surgery later in life if we so choose to have it corrected. I wonder if insurance would cover such a thing, though, if she already has no sight in that eye. Sounds like it would be purely cosmetic. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
The hallelujah part of this story? Her right eye is completely normal!! I don't know what that Chinese doc saw, but it turns out it wasn't true and I am FINE with that!

We have a dermatology appointment coming up to check out a birthmark and another ped appointment to find out the verdict on her immunity and if we have to start over with the shots (they couldn't draw titers last time because she had just had her shots in Guangzhou before we came home. It was too early).

In other areas of life, we are doing well. I am still working on my bonding with her, but at this point she seems pretty well bonded to me. The past few days, she has had some rare moments of "I NEED TO BE WITH YOU AND YOU CANNOT PUT ME DOWN OR I WILL SCREEEEEEAAM." She has had a little cold for the past few weeks, though, and developed a cough today, so I wonder if maybe it is developing into something more and she is just feeling needy. I hope it isn't too bad. All the rest of us had this cold and it was the easiest cold I've ever had! Over within only a few days. Poor baby's nose just keeps on running.

So, there you go. You're all caught up on us!

"LilyJoy, who dressed you...??"

In general, mornings with LilyJoy are mine. We wake up together, I feed her, I change her diaper, I dress her-- you get the picture. Well, one day last week, we were running late for preschool drop-off and I didn't quite have time to get Lily altogether. So, of course, I left her in the good hands of her sweet daddy... or so I thought. When I left, she had been fed, but was still in her jammies. When I came home, this is what I saw:

Good heavenly days, LilyJoy! What on EARTH are you wearing? Lavender velour pants that were just a *little* too short, pulled up to her chest over her extraordinarily large diaper bottom, dark PURPLE socks with white stars, white tennis shoes with PURPLE flowers, PURPLE onsie turtleneck that was just a *little* too big. My mom happened to stop by that morning and she just started laughing. Now, to DH's credit, he was VERY proud to point out the fact that she was "very coordinated." Yes, Love, the purple was lovely, complete with purple barrette...it's just, well, not a very cute outfit. Actually, she kind of looked, as my mom and I agreed, like a little old Chinese lady. You decide.
Good thing she's cute.

I See the Moon...

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! I was really hoping to celebrate this year and I actually planned ahead. Unfortunately and surprisingly, I couldn't find much of anything to do in Seattle. I may have missed it, who knows? But I happened to ask another local adoptive family that I met on Loving China's Children yahoo group if the Northwest FCC chapter was having a celebration. They were, but it was very expensive and given that we just returned from China, we're not big on cash right now. So, instead, she invited us over to her house to meet her family and do a small little celebration of our own. It was so nice to meet this family! We had a lovely time chatting and sampling moon cakes. They have four adopted children from China so we got lots of BTDT advice and learned their very interesting story of adoption. I'm always amazed to meet folks who have missionary hearts, which this woman does.

As for mooncakes? Hmmm, I can't say that I'm a big fan. As a matter of fact, I can't say I liked them at all! The family we visited made some homemade ones and I thought they were really good. They had said that they were took "hard" and more cake-like than the real kind. I thought their's was kind of like a nice biscuit with bean paste in the middle. The store bought one, though-- YECH!! I don't know if it was a texture thing or a taste thing or both? Not my favorite (LilyJoy didn't seem to care for it either-- little miss I'll-eat-anything spit it right out). Now, keep in mind, there are LOTS of different kinds of moon cakes with different ingredients, so I really shouldn't make a blanket statement about not liking them. I guess I shouldn't turn my nose up the next time I am offered one :)

Don't forget to go and admire the moon!

TRAGEDY! Makes you think...

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-fg-china-adopt20-2009sep20,0,3969070,full.story

This makes you really think about adoption in China. Who is a victim?? Will we ever know? Is LilyJoy? She is from a remote village...

Middle Child Syndrome

Little Timothy. I can't believe how big he has gotten! I missed a birthday post a few days back, so this one is for T.

When we came home from China with two weeks of looking into the face of a beautiful little porcelain face with lovely brown eyes, I was shocked to see Timmy's huge blue eyes with long curled eyelashes. I missed his little dimple so much! Timothy is my cuddler. He's my lovebug. And he is a teaser and a poker and a let's-see-what-happens-when-I-try-this type of sibling. I wish I could shelter him from all the bad that will happen to him because he takes it all to heart. And yet, he doesn't seem to learn that if he just backed off a bit, he'd be much better off. I'm sure that you can guess, I am referring to his interactions with LilyJoy. He asked me last week when we would be taking "this little sister" back to China.

I knew it would be hard for Tim Tim to adjust. Truly, he was the one I was worried about. This morning he wanted to eat his eggs with a baby spoon. And then he wanted me to feed him-- so I did. He's also having a hard time listening and has peed on the floor 3 times now, though he is fully daytime potty trained and has been for a year now. I've been trying to take him aside all by himself and give him loves and cuddles as much as I can, but it is hard with two others who also need me. I just wish I could make him feel more secure.

All About LilyJoy

I've been writing a post for DAYS now that I've been meaning to finish. The info keeps changing, so I've decided to write something a little simpler... All about Lily!


1. Lily and I are doing 180 degrees better-- in fact, as predicted by many of you, she really prefers me now! Thank you, Lord!

2. Our biggest issue right now hands down is sleep. We get a fair amount of sleep about every other night. The odd nights, though, are NOT pretty with lots of scratching, screaming, crying, trying to hit her head on the wall, etc. It is really heartbreaking to watch.

3. She has the prettiest dark brown hair. And I have no idea how all you people with little girls come out with adorable looking 'do's everyday. Kudos to you :)

4. She loves her big brothers, but has tried to teach Timothy a few lessons for being too much in her business. She's a biter, trying to nip that in the bud, but it's not the easiest thing.

5. Food is also a bit of an issue. It seems to be getting better, but she does have a tendency to shove all the food she can in her mouth at once-- something she was not doing as much in China. I believe it is a bit of survival instinct kicking in. She will also eat and eat and eat until she is bored. We take her out of the high chair and she has a F.I.T. fit, as though to say, "I wasn't done yet!!!!"

6. We don't need to put her on a scale to see that she has gained weight! She still has tiny little arms and legs, but a nice round belly now. Just the way I like 'em!

7. Her language is changing rapidly. Her words that are meaningful are "bye bye," "bubble," and "pop" (from a song that we like to sing her). Steve thinks she also said "doggie," but she hasn't said it again to confirm. She can sign "more," "thank you," "all done," "please," "eat," and "sit down." She says "mama," but has not said it purposefully to me yet. The orphanage director who dropped her off to us told us that she didn't have any words-- that still really surprises me given how many she has already obtained.

8. She LOVES tubby time. She and Timothy are two peas in a pod in that respect. Samuel generally goes along with them because it is always more fun to be with your buddies.

And I'll leave you with one of my current favorites...

Home.

What a whirlwind. We are home, safe and somewhat sound. We got back yesterday morning after LilyJoy decided that 3:30am was a good time to wake up in LA. I looked at Steve and said, let's just get to the airport and put ourselves on standby for an earlier flight. We got to LAX, were told we'd have no problem getting on the 6am flight and were on our way before we knew what was happening! We surprised my parents and the boys who were expecting us later in the afternoon. It was precious to see all of their faces-- I wish I had the camera. Isn't it funny how much older your kids seem to you when you've left them for a time? I've been so proud of S and T and how they have handled having LilyJoy around. They really are doting big brothers, albeit a little rough sometimes! It is very sweet to watch.

As for LilyJoy, I sort of faded out of the blogging world a bit toward the end there. I'm thinking it was kind of a defense mechanism, actually. I mentioned before that she really is velcro baby to Steve and she hasn't changed a whole lot in that respect when she is tired, hungry, needs comforting or is just feeling insecure. It has been one of the hardest things that I have ever had to deal with. She just doesn't want me. I am so nervous for when Steve goes back to work. We have a while, though, so I need to just take it one step at a time. Easier said than done, but I'm trying. I'll tell you what, though, I have NEVER appreciated my boys as much as I have during these days. I hug and kiss them and love all over them as much as possible because they LET ME! :)

Anyway, the jet lag is brutal! I'm trying some melatonin tonight, but the problem is that Lily is still confused. OY! I can't win! I will try and post some pictures as soon as we get them off of the Noteb**k we used in China. Thanks for all your support and prayers on our journey! I love this blogging community.

Picture post con't