Have You Heard This??

This is a new song by Steven Curtis Chapman. You may recall that Steven and his family lost its youngest member (adopted from China) in May 2008 in a tragic accident. This is the song that came from the tragedy. Get some tissues.

She's IN! I'm OUT!

I have something to celebrate here that I have been keeping quiet for fear that things might change. LJ has decided her crib is not such a bad place after all! Admittedly, this was not necessarily the plan for us-- we are very much a "do whatever works so that everyone gets the maximum amount of sleep possible" kind of family, rather than the "this kid will sleep here and we will 'train' her to like it" kind of family. I think I mentioned before that we figured out LJ's preference was to sleep on the floor. It was getting a little old bringing out my air mattress, setting it up with blankets folded from the previous morning, then setting out the old crib bumper and tying it to various objects in the room. Not only that, but LJ's room is tiny and all that took up pretty much all leftover floor space, so it was a pain to move about. BUT, in this experience, the Lord has FINALLY taught me an amazing lesson of patience. Specifically, when I came home from China, things were H-A-R-D. I know they are hard for anyone adopting, but we really struggled. I found myself almost constantly asking, "I wonder what things will be like in a year from now..." At that point, how was I to even know that things would be any different in a year? Who was I to inquire about the future before it happened? God started saying to me, "Courtney, it is NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!" So, I listened. I actually LISTENED!! And I cannot tell you the weight that was lifted from my shoulders. It was such a burden to be straining my eyes toward the future. And I was able to say, "okay, I can sleep in here for one more night..." "Okay, so one more night isn't going to kill me..." until the right time came.

So, the first step was sleeping in the crib. The next step, which I tried one time about a week ago, was to get myself back into my own bed. That first night didn't go so well. At about 2am, the moon was shining enough into LJ's room that she could look around a see that I wasn't there. She lost it, I came running and spent the rest of the night holding her hand (luckily, I had already set up the air mattress in case of this scenario). All I said was, "it just isn't time yet." And we all slept fine. For the past three nights, though, I DID IT!! I have slept in my own lovely, warm bed--the first three nights there since the week after we arrived home in China at the end of August! Now, these nights have not been without their interruptions, but nothing like that first try a week ago. If she cries, I can go in and either hold her hand or pick her up and rock her slowly for about 5 minutes and then lay her back down again for more lovely, precious sleep. I think this little girl is beginning to trust us! Could it be...?

I FOUND IT!

Yes, folks, that's right. If you're sitting out there in blogland just waiting for your Hague adoption to be complete, fear not!! I found the ONE positive thing about the Hague today. Are you ready? I spent less than 30 minutes in the Social Security office today applying to LJ's soc sec number! Okay, so it's not all that exciting, but I sure as heck thought it was cool. The officer who helped me out said she had done tons of adoptions completed domestically and internationally, but none ever under the Hague. She couldn't believe how easy it was to find LJ's immigration stuff (their system was automatically linked to USCIS) and prove that she was a citizen. I was fully expecting her to look at my documentation and say, "huh, yeah right, come back tomorrow when you have everything you need." Nothing-- she said not a WORD of such disgust.

So, there you have it. The one positive thing about the Hague. Sorry that it happens to come after all the excitement of the adoption itself. Figures.

Updates and Doctor Reports

It has come to my attention that I have done a very poor job of updating folks on how LilyJoy is actually doing. Most things are so much better than when we got home, that while they are still not "normal," they have become our "normal." Sleep has really been a non-issue since we figured out that little LJ just wanted to sleep on the floor. Now, we have a routine where I set out a crib bumper along various items of furniture to contain the sleeping baby while I sleep on an air mattress right next to her. Often, early in the morning she will need a reminder that I am still there and will basically crawl on top of the air mattress and all over me (much like a cat) until she finds a nice pleasant spot to settle back in again. Sometimes during that little awakening, she cries, sometimes not. All in all, we are getting sleep and that is really what matters to me. Naps are a different story, not quite as easy. She does usually sleep for about an hour at naptime, though, so I get a *little* break :)

A few weeks ago we also visited the Pediatrician and the Ophthalmologist. The ped had nothing but good stuff to report (aside from the report that we will probably have to start over with her immunizations... grrrrrrr.). At this point, she didn't see developmentally that LJ will need the Birth to Three services (the state's early intervention program) and she seems to be right on target. I think I will still call, though, and have her evaluated, given what I found out at her next appointment. She is tiny-- but on the chart!! I think she said about the 3rd %ile for both height and weight. Looking at her pictures from China to now, though, as DH would say, "SHE'S A CHUNK!" She no longer fits in her qipao dress that we had made for her, thanks to that little potbelly she now sports. So, in summary, she is doing great.

Her ophthalmology appointment was a little different story. While we didn't find out anything earth shattering (and really, it was exactly as I had predicted all along), it was a wee bit disappointing. When her ped looked at her left eye, she said, "oh my! she has a strange eye... I can't find her pupil!" Hmmm, not exactly what you want to hear! Well, the ophthalmologist laughed when I told him that and said, "I'm not surprised she couldn't find it. It is very abnormal." So, there is no cataract (as I suspected), but just a very large, irregularly shaped pupil caused by, well, who knows? He said she could have been born with it that way or it could have been some kind of trauma (heaven forbid), but she also has some kind of cyst next to it, nothing he was concerned about. The long and the short of it, she has very poor vision in that eye (if any) and it will always be that way, there is nothing they can do to fix it. As for the strabismus (lazy eye) in that same eye, they can do surgery later in life if we so choose to have it corrected. I wonder if insurance would cover such a thing, though, if she already has no sight in that eye. Sounds like it would be purely cosmetic. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get there.
The hallelujah part of this story? Her right eye is completely normal!! I don't know what that Chinese doc saw, but it turns out it wasn't true and I am FINE with that!

We have a dermatology appointment coming up to check out a birthmark and another ped appointment to find out the verdict on her immunity and if we have to start over with the shots (they couldn't draw titers last time because she had just had her shots in Guangzhou before we came home. It was too early).

In other areas of life, we are doing well. I am still working on my bonding with her, but at this point she seems pretty well bonded to me. The past few days, she has had some rare moments of "I NEED TO BE WITH YOU AND YOU CANNOT PUT ME DOWN OR I WILL SCREEEEEEAAM." She has had a little cold for the past few weeks, though, and developed a cough today, so I wonder if maybe it is developing into something more and she is just feeling needy. I hope it isn't too bad. All the rest of us had this cold and it was the easiest cold I've ever had! Over within only a few days. Poor baby's nose just keeps on running.

So, there you go. You're all caught up on us!

"LilyJoy, who dressed you...??"

In general, mornings with LilyJoy are mine. We wake up together, I feed her, I change her diaper, I dress her-- you get the picture. Well, one day last week, we were running late for preschool drop-off and I didn't quite have time to get Lily altogether. So, of course, I left her in the good hands of her sweet daddy... or so I thought. When I left, she had been fed, but was still in her jammies. When I came home, this is what I saw:

Good heavenly days, LilyJoy! What on EARTH are you wearing? Lavender velour pants that were just a *little* too short, pulled up to her chest over her extraordinarily large diaper bottom, dark PURPLE socks with white stars, white tennis shoes with PURPLE flowers, PURPLE onsie turtleneck that was just a *little* too big. My mom happened to stop by that morning and she just started laughing. Now, to DH's credit, he was VERY proud to point out the fact that she was "very coordinated." Yes, Love, the purple was lovely, complete with purple barrette...it's just, well, not a very cute outfit. Actually, she kind of looked, as my mom and I agreed, like a little old Chinese lady. You decide.
Good thing she's cute.

I See the Moon...

Happy Mid-Autumn Festival! I was really hoping to celebrate this year and I actually planned ahead. Unfortunately and surprisingly, I couldn't find much of anything to do in Seattle. I may have missed it, who knows? But I happened to ask another local adoptive family that I met on Loving China's Children yahoo group if the Northwest FCC chapter was having a celebration. They were, but it was very expensive and given that we just returned from China, we're not big on cash right now. So, instead, she invited us over to her house to meet her family and do a small little celebration of our own. It was so nice to meet this family! We had a lovely time chatting and sampling moon cakes. They have four adopted children from China so we got lots of BTDT advice and learned their very interesting story of adoption. I'm always amazed to meet folks who have missionary hearts, which this woman does.

As for mooncakes? Hmmm, I can't say that I'm a big fan. As a matter of fact, I can't say I liked them at all! The family we visited made some homemade ones and I thought they were really good. They had said that they were took "hard" and more cake-like than the real kind. I thought their's was kind of like a nice biscuit with bean paste in the middle. The store bought one, though-- YECH!! I don't know if it was a texture thing or a taste thing or both? Not my favorite (LilyJoy didn't seem to care for it either-- little miss I'll-eat-anything spit it right out). Now, keep in mind, there are LOTS of different kinds of moon cakes with different ingredients, so I really shouldn't make a blanket statement about not liking them. I guess I shouldn't turn my nose up the next time I am offered one :)

Don't forget to go and admire the moon!