TRAGEDY! Makes you think...

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-fg-china-adopt20-2009sep20,0,3969070,full.story

This makes you really think about adoption in China. Who is a victim?? Will we ever know? Is LilyJoy? She is from a remote village...

Middle Child Syndrome

Little Timothy. I can't believe how big he has gotten! I missed a birthday post a few days back, so this one is for T.

When we came home from China with two weeks of looking into the face of a beautiful little porcelain face with lovely brown eyes, I was shocked to see Timmy's huge blue eyes with long curled eyelashes. I missed his little dimple so much! Timothy is my cuddler. He's my lovebug. And he is a teaser and a poker and a let's-see-what-happens-when-I-try-this type of sibling. I wish I could shelter him from all the bad that will happen to him because he takes it all to heart. And yet, he doesn't seem to learn that if he just backed off a bit, he'd be much better off. I'm sure that you can guess, I am referring to his interactions with LilyJoy. He asked me last week when we would be taking "this little sister" back to China.

I knew it would be hard for Tim Tim to adjust. Truly, he was the one I was worried about. This morning he wanted to eat his eggs with a baby spoon. And then he wanted me to feed him-- so I did. He's also having a hard time listening and has peed on the floor 3 times now, though he is fully daytime potty trained and has been for a year now. I've been trying to take him aside all by himself and give him loves and cuddles as much as I can, but it is hard with two others who also need me. I just wish I could make him feel more secure.

All About LilyJoy

I've been writing a post for DAYS now that I've been meaning to finish. The info keeps changing, so I've decided to write something a little simpler... All about Lily!


1. Lily and I are doing 180 degrees better-- in fact, as predicted by many of you, she really prefers me now! Thank you, Lord!

2. Our biggest issue right now hands down is sleep. We get a fair amount of sleep about every other night. The odd nights, though, are NOT pretty with lots of scratching, screaming, crying, trying to hit her head on the wall, etc. It is really heartbreaking to watch.

3. She has the prettiest dark brown hair. And I have no idea how all you people with little girls come out with adorable looking 'do's everyday. Kudos to you :)

4. She loves her big brothers, but has tried to teach Timothy a few lessons for being too much in her business. She's a biter, trying to nip that in the bud, but it's not the easiest thing.

5. Food is also a bit of an issue. It seems to be getting better, but she does have a tendency to shove all the food she can in her mouth at once-- something she was not doing as much in China. I believe it is a bit of survival instinct kicking in. She will also eat and eat and eat until she is bored. We take her out of the high chair and she has a F.I.T. fit, as though to say, "I wasn't done yet!!!!"

6. We don't need to put her on a scale to see that she has gained weight! She still has tiny little arms and legs, but a nice round belly now. Just the way I like 'em!

7. Her language is changing rapidly. Her words that are meaningful are "bye bye," "bubble," and "pop" (from a song that we like to sing her). Steve thinks she also said "doggie," but she hasn't said it again to confirm. She can sign "more," "thank you," "all done," "please," "eat," and "sit down." She says "mama," but has not said it purposefully to me yet. The orphanage director who dropped her off to us told us that she didn't have any words-- that still really surprises me given how many she has already obtained.

8. She LOVES tubby time. She and Timothy are two peas in a pod in that respect. Samuel generally goes along with them because it is always more fun to be with your buddies.

And I'll leave you with one of my current favorites...

Home.

What a whirlwind. We are home, safe and somewhat sound. We got back yesterday morning after LilyJoy decided that 3:30am was a good time to wake up in LA. I looked at Steve and said, let's just get to the airport and put ourselves on standby for an earlier flight. We got to LAX, were told we'd have no problem getting on the 6am flight and were on our way before we knew what was happening! We surprised my parents and the boys who were expecting us later in the afternoon. It was precious to see all of their faces-- I wish I had the camera. Isn't it funny how much older your kids seem to you when you've left them for a time? I've been so proud of S and T and how they have handled having LilyJoy around. They really are doting big brothers, albeit a little rough sometimes! It is very sweet to watch.

As for LilyJoy, I sort of faded out of the blogging world a bit toward the end there. I'm thinking it was kind of a defense mechanism, actually. I mentioned before that she really is velcro baby to Steve and she hasn't changed a whole lot in that respect when she is tired, hungry, needs comforting or is just feeling insecure. It has been one of the hardest things that I have ever had to deal with. She just doesn't want me. I am so nervous for when Steve goes back to work. We have a while, though, so I need to just take it one step at a time. Easier said than done, but I'm trying. I'll tell you what, though, I have NEVER appreciated my boys as much as I have during these days. I hug and kiss them and love all over them as much as possible because they LET ME! :)

Anyway, the jet lag is brutal! I'm trying some melatonin tonight, but the problem is that Lily is still confused. OY! I can't win! I will try and post some pictures as soon as we get them off of the Noteb**k we used in China. Thanks for all your support and prayers on our journey! I love this blogging community.

Picture post con't

 

CURSE YOU, Hague Plague!!

Today hasn't been all bad, but BOY was I mad at the medical exam today.  LilyJoy has shots up-to-date, no problem there, but she's due for SIX!!  That's right, not only do we have to PAY for these (a couple hundred USD), but poor little Dragon Princess has to be subjected to them.  Thank the GOOD LORD that they allowed us to split them up into two different days and also allowed me to skeedadle from the room so I wouldn't be associated with them.  Our guide, Ann, is just about the best thing that we've seen here in China.  I cannot say enough good things about her.  She was very sympathetic about the whole Hague thing and really shed some perspective that it is not only we Americans that curse the Hague Plague.  She totally understood about me not wanting to be in the room and she stood right next to Steve while Dragon Princess screamed her head off-- it just about broke a mama's heart.  Shameless Plug-- if you have NOT contacted one of the reps who is on the judiciary committee to change the Hague immunization requirements, I highly recommend that you do so right NOW.  I can't tell you how this felt today.  And again on Monday.
 
Otherwise, little one did quite well if I do say so myself.  She was tired, but relatively cooperative.  She is a whopping 19 lbs!  But our guide said that she and another guide were discussing how she looked and thought for an 18 month old, she looked great!  Yikes, I can't imagine a peanut much smaller, but I guess I'm glad to hear that she looks good.
 
On another note, the doctor who examined her eyes says that she believes whatever plagues her left eye, also plagues her right.  So, I guess we need some serious prayers for whatever ails her.  We will find out more about it when we get home as they really don't have the equipment to even make a diagnosis during this rudimentary exam.  I had a wave of panic that she could lose sight in both her eyes-- perhaps not the end of the world, but she is our child now and we love her so much that we want her to have everything.
 
After all the madness of the morning, we took it easy and she has been very happy this afternoon.  We played and played and then she pretty much laid down on the floor and fell asleep.  So far, the shots don't seem to have bothered her too much.  We'll see-- she just woke up from her nap and I'm sure the Tylenol is about to wear off.

Headed for Guangzhou

We're halfway through!!!   I cannot tell you how happy this makes me!  Not onlythat, but Princess SLEPT last night-- actually, she is still sleeping (and we're hungry!).  We had a funny incident yesterday while I was packing up our stuff.  We had gotten some formula at the store the day before we got her, just in case she still needed it.  When we got her, though, we were told that they stopped giving her formula about 2 months ago.  Well, I picked up the bag, she saw it and it was VERY CLEAR that she knew exactly what was in that bag.  She squealed and pointed and got excited.  I still had a bottle made up in the refrigerator and thought I'd try and see if she wanted it-- cold, mind you.  She sucked that thing down like she hadn't eaten in DAYS!  Needless to say, we have been giving her a little formula since then and we believe that may be part of why she slept so well last night, 11 hours in total. 
 
She had a great day yesterday, although, when I took her down to the lobby to "play," there was a male hotel staff member who wanted to hold her.  I allowed it for just a minute and then he set her down.  Well, as soon as he did that, she wanted nothing to do with and only wanted him.  Of course, I picked her up and took her away saying, "wave bye bye!  Bye bye!"  and we promptly left.  She wasn't happy with me.  We will need to be careful of this, I think.  I know it will get better, we do take baby steps, but sometimes it feels like one step forward, two steps back.
 
Anyway, we're headed to Guangzhou today and I couldn't be happier to get a change of scene.  I hope she does well on the plane.  Prayers please :)