So, apparently this week the #1 family on our agency's Taiwan list accepted a referral of an older child. This is wonderful news! A referral of ANY child is a wonderful thing, it's like the birth of a child. But when I heard that, I had to fight the temptation to start thinking, "well, if we were still in the Taiwan program, we would be #4 now and with one more referral our papers would be sent to Taiwan and we would be SO MUCH closer..." The fact of the matter is, this news doesn't change anything. God is NOT trying to torture us. He is not in the business of torture, He is in the business of mercy, grace and love. He hurts when we do. I have to remember that being one step closer doesn't change my uncomfortable feeling about Chung Yi. This was still not an infant referral and they still don't foresee referrals picking up anytime soon.
I'm not a very patient person-- at least, I don't think so. When I am in a hurry, I tend to be one of those annoying people who changes lines in the grocery store, just because it looks like that person has less to buy than that one. I'm not rude about it, but I do tend to be a line switcher. This adoption business is so NOT the same thing!! I am saying this here and now-- CHINA SN IS WHERE GOD HAS CALLED US TO BE. There will be no more switching lines! There. I feel better now. And I will be thrilled to hear of any infant referrals in Taiwan because it will mean I was wrong about the CY program. But we will stay right here to find our little girl in God's timing. I am so grateful!
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4 comments:
I think you made the right decision about Taiwan. From what I have been hearing out of Chung Yi, you may be waiting forever to never receive a referral. Best wishes on your adoption journey!
Cindy
http://adopttaiwan.wordpress.com
Hang in there hon! You have to follow God hon. It is like I tell everyone I talk to about adoption. It is not about being in as many programs as you can, or finding the one with the shortest line, it is about being in the right place that God tells you to stand because THAT is where your missing person awaits!!! You have made the right decision. You have followed your heart and that is what you have to do!!! If you need to talk, you know where I am. *hug* keep moving forward hon. Don't let Satan remind you of "where you could be", but let your heart remind you of where you are going!
Ahhh... are you hearing voices in your head?! That sounds all too familiar to me too! I have to remind myself that nothing happens by accident. Follow your heart (I had to big time), your head just confuses things sometimes. The case of the would've could've should'ves is so hard to block out... but we're here for you, cheering you on. Your Heavenly Father knows you better than you do; He'll help out... I completely believe this. ~Big Hugs~ Sara
I'm like you! I'm a line switcher too! (At Target that is!) I'm glad you have found peace in your decision and in His calling for you to adopt SN from China. We have considered that as well. I can't wait fo follow this part of your journey! Praying for more grace and more Christ-like patience for you and me both! Tiff
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